Super Smash Brothers Conduct Page
With any fighting game, we, as gamers, come under the excruciating
task of behaving ourselves in what seems to be the ultimate rule of play
in any form of game. Sure, people may tell you different; "Winning isn't
everything, it's the only thing." or "Win if you can, lose if you must,
but always cheat." However, we must beg to differ. What's the point of
cheating? Cheating is essentially defined as taking shortcuts. Now, if
you're taking shortcuts, then you're not actually accomplishing anything
with skill, and so, how do you gain any real satisfaction from that? Thus,
the final question is spawned, if you're not gaining satisfaction from
winning, are you really winning? And we must tell you, folks, that the
answer is unequivocably "No."
It is with this well-formulated thesis in mind that we
now tackle the gravest of all strategies that exist in Super Smash Brothers.
This is cheating. We do not promote it. We will not like you if you do
it. And, finally, we will...but honestly, we think that cheating is a lot
like drugs. When someone asks you if you want to do any of it, "Just say
no!" So, without further ado, we bring you all of the most underhanded,
frustrating, and blatant forms of cheating that exist in SSB. Avoid this
kind of behavior at all costs!
Forms of Cheating
Infinites: We have to tell you all out there: there
is no skill involved in infinites. This is especially true in SSB where
most of the infinites usually only require not only one button, but only
one move. Now, we won't mention any specific infinites by name or description
but...say you have A on turbo and have a person trapped in a corner. You
bust that person up for around 200% and then eliminate him. They come back
and do the same exact thing to you. And so on. Does this sound like fun?
Does this entail any strategy at all. Not in the slightest. Infinites are
not painful to a character in SSB; however, they are painful to watch,
painful to endure, and could be painful to your thumb if you mash it into
the controller one too many times.
Self-inflicted suicides: Once again, this is cheating
that totally robs the game of any strategy. It's truly terrible that it
is SO easy to accomplish as well. If someone nails you for 200% but has
not as of yet KO'ed you, it is totally unfair to then just kill yourself
off so that they don't get a kill. It is amazing how many ways there are
to commit suicide and so we will run down a bunch of them so that you will
be able to avoid doing any of the following and keep the game as fair as
possible. Purposefully jumping down into the KO floor is committing suicide.
Purposefully getting hit by an Arwing laser is committing suicide (assuming
you die afterwards). Walking into a KO wall on the Classic Mario Brothers
stage is committing suicide. Allowing an Arwing to fly you off the screen
into a KO area is committing suicide. Running into a tornado on Link's
castle is committing suicide. Shooting yourself out of the barrel on DK's
Congo Jungle so that you die is committing suicide. Throwing a Bob-omb
straight down (in a non-offensive manner) is committing suicide. In short,
if you ever purposefully kill yourself so that your opponent cannot get
a kill, that is committing suicide and that is just so very wrong.
Mass-avoidance tactics: Now the term may be confusing
but we're sure you'll understand what we mean after a minute of explanation.
Say you choose DK as your character. Your opponent chooses Samus. Samus
kills you. Then Samus spends the rest of the game just running around on
the Great Fox for example, avoiding you perfectly at every turn for the
next five minutes. Samus wins...by cheating of course. It is acceptable
to avoid your opponent in this manner only if he has a DK Hammer or if
it's in the last five seconds of the game and you're attempting to avoid
a last second launch. And, this just in, warping back and forth from warp
pipe to warp pipe on the Classic Mario Bros. stage for a whole round is
Plethora of projectiles: Are you one of those people
who places his character twenty feet (or inches, as in on-screen) away
from his opponents and then just presses B a zillion times while his teammate
takes care of the real work? While some may call it "backup", it's
merely repetition, annoyance, and a hindrance to real combos and strategies.
It's hiding behind a long range attack because you're afraid of actually
getting hit or launched. And, in the end, if your attack is that limited
in scope, skilled players are going to beat you anyway, so you might as
well not do it in the first place.
Excessive throwing: We've tried to make it a statute
that you only throw when you need to. For example, when the computer continues
to roll back and forth on you and you need to teach it a lesson. But, for
the most part, try to only use about one throw per one minute of gameplay.
Even that may be excessive. This is because almost all throws have around
zero setup and zero recovery. Plus you can throw through blocks. They are
just too powerful. A really skilled player doesn't need to throw to knock
someone out of the game. Just remember that Nintendo safeguarded against
chronic blockers by making the block guard continuously deplete (by itself
and even faster by attacking it). And, if you can't stop that throwing
impulse, we offer you some therapy: play ten rounds as Samus. That should
slow your throwing tendencies down.
When using Donkey Kong: Grabbing someone with DK,
putting them on your back, and then falling to your demise to get a kill
and suicide is most definitely cheating.